In All The Old Familiar Places

A few months ago, I celebrated my 20 year work anniversary. Two decades at the same place. Honestly, one minute you’re the fresh faced babe who drives the hot Camaro in the parking lot and the next minute, you’re the dowager giving unsolicited recollections and advice. The upside of staying in one place for so long is the people you meet along the way. The downside is that as time goes on, those people start to drift away either to new opportunities, retirement, or it seems most recently, to their final rest. 

Losing people-either permanently or temporarily-is never easy. I’ve reflected a lot in the past few weeks about the lasting impacts that we leave on people and that they leave on us. As a foodie, many of my fond memories of people relate back to food in some way. When I look around my kitchen, I’m surrounded by memories of those who cared enough at one time to add something to my little haven: dishes, cookbooks, handwritten recipes, utensils, pans, spices…Food is my love language and all those items reflect those in my life who understood that and loved me back even if only for a brief moment in time. 

Two weeks ago, my friend Candace and I met our former boss for lunch at a local tea room. We chose the location and were excited to introduce her to it. She hosted us for a Christmas tea years ago at her home and it is a core memory for us. We reminisced about that tea at lunch. None of us quite remember what exactly was served but we remembered the atmosphere, the joyous occasion, and being with friends. On our way out to our cars, she mentioned the “garden party” we threw for her when she retired. She always does. Yet another occasion and memory that we cherish that was built around food. And again, it wasn’t necessarily the food that made that day special (though this chocolate cake does rock) but the people we shared it with that day.

A couple of days after that lunch, my husband’s family experienced a tremendous loss with the passing of his Aunt Peggy.  She was the family matriarch, the host of their holiday meals and Sunday dinners, and as his cousin wrote “the glue that held the family together”. Some of my fondest memories were being in the kitchen with her when they visited us. We’d made breakfast for everyone and I’d usually hand the spoon over to her to make the gravy. She made a wonderful potato salad and they all loved her chili. You don’t always know when the last meal that you share with someone is the last meal you’ll share with them. 

My sister in law made a beautiful photo montage for the funeral services that ended with lyrics written by Sammy Fain and Irving Kahal and made famous by Billie Holiday: 

“I’ll be seeing you, 

In all the old familiar places, 

That this heart of mine embraces, 

All day through”. 

Food and cooking are my most favorite familiar places and that’s where I see so many of those I care for. It’s a cup of Earl Grey tea, a fruit dip recipe. Covering up the biscuits with a clean dish towel to keep them warm. The right way to cut an avocado and make guacamole with it. The family punch recipe. A good cream pie with a homemade crust. The cast iron skillet that makes the best cornbread.  A cheesy pizza. A fried baloney sandwich. A slab of meatloaf. A cup of coffee with just the right amount of half and half. Chicken nuggets with a side of grapes. A homemade cheesecake. A big pot of chicken and dumplings. Some peanut butter roll candy.  I could go on and on…

I see those I love in the foods I’ve loved with them. I hope they have felt that love coming back from my kitchen

From the heart and from the holler,

Minda